throughaphase | Avengers Tower- Clint's New York- Saturday evening

Before and during the ceremony!

If asked, Tamsin would insist she only came to see if a fight broke out.

Or for the free food.

Or something.

Yes, she had traded in her usual jeans, t-shirts and jackets look for a nice blue dress, and yes, she did arrive perfectly on time, but-- stuff. Reasons. Whatever, shut up, today might not be so bad.

For a change, Allie was not in her usual all black ensemble. Instead she was in a dress and heels. Now if only she could get through the wedding without breaking an ankle.

In the back of the church was a bearded man with more hair than Phil Coulson had seen on his head in a long time. He was wearing a light colored suit and seemed completely nondescript.

Phil Coulson was dead. Whoever this was, he was NOT Phil Coulson.

As Logan adjusted his bolo tie, he gave some thought to how nice it was that if Kitty had to marry any Barton, it was a Barton who hadn't stolen his mask design.

Or become a crappy ninja.

You know who the best flower dragon ever was? LOCKHEED. And he knew it. Don't give him a nasty look or he would throw flowers in your damn face and be beloved for it.

"DRAGON."

SHINY! DRAGON. PRETTY! DRAGON. HI DRAGON HI!

Yeah, Lockheed was awesome and beautiful. Tell him something he didn't know.

He preened a little. With his flowers.

"So cuuuuuute!" Did he know that? Did he? "And smart, look at you! With your flowers! ... Are we expecting more dragons?" Ooo!

Lockheed shook his head no. He came to the wedding stag.

"Awwwww." He was definitely part of the wedding party, so he probably didn't want to go home with Parker and Eliot and Hardison and hang out and steal things. It was still massively cool to meet him! "I'm Parker. Eliot and Hardison helped with stuff." Parker had not, because her suggestions had all been rejected.

Lockheed hadn't really paid attention to the other people who helped. There was Kitty. There was, ugh, Clint. And then there was his flowers, but he was the real star. Still, Lockheed gave an appreciative grunt for the hard work of whoever those people were.

Parker grinned back at him. So smart! "When you're done with the flower part, you can come hang out with us if you want. Do you like eyebrow scritches?" Pinkie did, but she was a pony. For all she knew, the purple dragon was allergic to them or something.

Lockheed rolled his eyes. Eyebrow scritches were for pets, and he was only a pet to one person. For everyone else, he was a badass dragon.

Fair enough. Parker was glad she'd asked first. "Good luck with all this! I'll keep my fingers crossed that you know, no one dies or anything."

Parker got most of her ideas about weddings from their cons or daytime television. And Fandom weekends.

Scott wasn't particularly thrilled with weddings, what with how his marriages tended to go. Still, he was hopeful for Kitty and this version of Clint Barton.

He was also watching for any supervillains who might try to disrupt the ceremony because come on.

This was weird.

This was really weird.

Parker pretty much looked at weddings as Wedding Episodes in Real Life. So, you know. She was ready for someone to bust in with sub-machine guns.

Eliot -- was only slightly more familiar with weddings than Parker was. You didn't get invited to a whole lot of them when most of your friendships were based on whether or not you tried to kill each other, recently. But he'd had enough conversations with Kitty while she was planning this one to be very impressed with how it had all come together. He was beginning to understand why the only times Hardison brought up weddings involved stealing them from other people.

He was also entirely prepared to physically stop either of his partners from attempting to steal this one.

That hadn't occurred to Parker. Yet. Maybe when they got to the reception and the food, though.

"So, why are they getting married, exactly? Do you know?"

"They're in love, Parker," Eliot explained, keeping his voice low. "And -- you know, there's probably a bunch of tax benefits or something, too."

"Ohhhh." Right. Non-criminals did that sort of thing, if they were good citizens. "I wonder if Nate and Sophie will get married. Well. I think Sophie would want to. New shoes. Nate, though... Issues."

"Nate and Sophie are engaged," Eliot reminded her. "We were there when it happened. 'Course, Sophiemight get tiredof Nate puttin' it off. . . ."

"That was for real?" Parker hadn't been sure, especially since there'd been very little follow-up. "I thought that was just a relationship status thing. Like It's Complicated."

"It is, kinda," Eliot said. "The status between 'dating' and 'married'. Some folks just like to stick with 'engaged' for a real long time."

"It's not like the legal part is hard," Parker said uncertainly. She looked around the room, gathering information. "Is this part difficult?" It had never looked that hard when they conned people with wedding stuff, but maybe that was different?

"Undoin' it is hard," Eliot said. "The whole idea is the bein' married is supposed to be forever. That scares a lot of people."

Eliot, for instance.

"Hunh." Miss Live-in-the-Moment (at least in her own life) could... kinda see that? Sort of? She leaned into Eliot and said, "So it's all about Death. And Taxes."

"Pretty much," Eliot said. "Don't say that to Clint and Kitty though. Let 'em enjoy this awhile."

"From what Kitty says, the folks we gotta watch out for were all invited," Hardison said softly, watching Parker keep an (entirely too eager, in his opinion) eye out for mayhem. "I suggested puttin' a timeout table outside for anyone who started somethin'."

"See, that was thoughtful," Parker said, keeping her voice down too. "I hope she appreciated that. And that there wasn't a weapons check at the door."

"Pretty sure like half these people are weapons," Hardison muttered. "Startin' to feel a bit outclassed. If a fight breaks out, I'm hidin' behind you, mama."

"I got your back," Parker said seriously, then smiled. "And you're so not outclassed. I bet you could take... ummm..." She paused. "That guy with the sunglasses!"

"Nope," Hardison said, shaking his head. "He's probably some kinda blind ninja that kicks ass by echolocation or something."

...Wrong superhero, Hardison.

"Any wedding that comes with its own dragon is one where I ain't about to mess around."

Close, though!

"Did you talk to him?" Parker asked, lighting up. "He's smart, and seems really nice. But he doesn't want to be petted, so." Alas, Lockheed. Your loyalty to Kitty is noted.

"What?" Hardison looked startled. "No I ain't talked to it. It's a dragon, yo! The last thing I want is for it to discover that I'm crunch an' taste hella good with ketchup!"

"That didn't occur to me," Parker said, looking thoughtful. "Although, I'd bet they told him not to eat the guests.... Would humans really taste good with ketchup?"

"I dunno, mama, I ain't never had a reason to try long pork. Ask Eliot. Wait, don't ask Eliot. You know his opinions on ketchup." Eliot had opinions on every condiment known to mankind. "And what good would tellin' him not to eat folks do? He's a damn dragon! He does what he wants!"

Parker snickered. "He's not the biggest dragon ever, though?"

"Biggest dragon I ever seen in the flesh." And that was big enough for Hardison, thanks. "By the way, mama, where'd you get off to yesterday? Noticed you weren't around."

And some of her stuff was gone. Like, oh, rigs and picks and things like that.

"Hmmmm?" Parker didn't really have an innocent look. But that look was probably her 'trying her to be unnoticed very hard' look. "...I had a thing. To do. It got done."

"Mmmhmmm," Hardison said, not buying that answer for a moment. "This thing gonna end up in a warehouse or up in the apartment?"

Parker paused, then said, "Apartment. I just borrowed them-- it-- um. I'm going to put it back, but I needed it for tomorrow. It's a surprise, you'll love it!"

Because who didn't love Faberge, come on!

"It's cool, mama," Hardison said easily, holding an arm out if she wanted a snuggle. "You wanna decorate for the holiday, I ain't gonna argue about it."

Or how she'd acquired the decorations. He was one thief who'd fallen in love with another. Who was he to judge?

Parker beamed, snuggling in. Celebrations were tricky, you know? And he might have wanted to be part of the surprise. "I'm really, really glad you didn't turn into a bunny for Easter. Even if that would've been cool."

"Nope!" Hardison said, holding her close. "I leave that nonsense to y'all. Besides, I'm happy to be your chocolate Easter bunny just like this."

Careful now, Hardison. There was still tomorrow for you to turn, you kept jinxing yourself like that.

Parker snuggled closer and smiled happily. "Chocolate and bunnies. And you. My list of favorite things." She tilted her head onto his shoulder. "Do you want to ever get married?" And then, hastily, "I'm just curious. I don't have an opinion for us."

"If you an' Eliot were down for it, then yeah, I would," Hardison admitted. "It wouldn't be legal--ain't like much we do is--but I like the idea of publicly confirmin' my love an' commitment to y'all. Wouldn't need to be big--" It would depend on the kind of wedding he stole, obviously "--but somethin' where Nana, an' Archie, an' Nate an' Sophie, an' Eliot's sister could come an' see an' wish us well. Yeah, it'd be nice, I think."

He paused, then added, "But only ever if that's what everyone wanted. What we got is more'n I ever hoped to have, so it ain't like I'm complainin'."

Parker kind of melted inside, like a small sticky Easter bunny. Hardison always said the best things, things that she couldn't put into words. "That sounds... really nice," she said softly. "Eliot said people get married for taxes. And because they want to make a forever commitment." She smiled a little. "We already have that. I kinda like that it's a secret, you know? Like we're all secretly married already... but if you wanted it, and somebody else did all the planning and hard stuff, it could be-- nice."

"Normal folks get married for taxes," Hardison said. "We only gotta get married if we wanna." He shrugged and added, "Some of our aliases are already married. Just cause I worry 'bout gettin' in to see Eliot if he ever got hurt real bad or somethin'."

So they all had nice, gender-neutral names so whoever was closest could get to him with a minimum of fuss.

"Look at the Mastermind, not wantin' to plan anything," he teased. "Naw, don't you worry. If we ended up doin' somethin' like that, it'd either be real small an' not need much plannin' at all, or we'd make someone else do all the heavy-liftin'."

And then steal it from them!

Jessica was slightly conflicted about this for a few reasons. Not only was it weird being in yet another New York with superheroes, but these specific doubles would always be a little weird to her.

But she came to the wedding anyway, and it seemed very nice. And weeeeeird.

Steve, decked out in his dress uniform, found a spot towards the back and looked around for a different version of him.

Which was weird. So, so weird.

Jack liked weddings, so he was there on time and in a nice suit and tie. He only halfway expected a fight to break out.

Emma had had... minor reservations about attending, mostly paradox-related. But Kitty was Jack's friend, and Emma liked Clint well enough, and Emma was making An Effort at Being Nice to People.

(She was aware she needed practice. It was a work in progress.)

But she was there as Jack's +1, clad in a conservatively-cut LBD, and doing her best to stay out of everyone's stray-thoughts as a sort-of bonus wedding gift to the happy couple.

Anders appreciated the effort Emma was making, and so he was going to hold off on gossiping with her until they were out of the wedding.

"Do you think there's going to be another you here?" he murmured. "That could get awkward. Interesting, but awkward."

"Oh, do you think?" Emma, please don't look so pleased with the idea. You're supposed to be behaving. "Although I'm under the impression that Miss Pryde isn't the biggest fan of her-me, and there's no reason to invite people you dislike to your own wedding."

"Not unless they're blood relatives," Jack conceded. "Besides, two Emmas in one room would be too much for any wedding to handle. You'd outshine the bride."

"Not even if they're blood relatives," Emma said firmly. Because, well, Jack had met her family.

"And I will be the first to admit that two of me would be a bit much for anyone or any event to handle." Emma and Christian had been bad enough as children. Two adult Emmas? She had enough self-awareness to know that was a horrible idea.

Jack smiled slightly. "You're right. Some blood relatives aren't worth inviting."

Hardison and Kitty were Chicago buddies, standing up to a world that didn't understand deep dish pizza, rooting for the Cubs, and the atavistic shiver when the wind made that noise. Kitty knew the one. And Clint was always mad cool and his dogs were neat. So there was no question that Hardison would be there, along with his crew, dressed to the nines in a nice suit. The island folks weren't going to shame Kitty and Clint on their big day!

And, don't worry Eliot. Hardison had no plans to steal this wedding. He hadn't even popped the question yet!

Oh, you mean he'd actually ask first? No sneaky "plan W" cooking up in that head of his?

Hardison might actually be maturing!

"It's a nice ceremony," Eliot said. That was what you were supposed to sayat weddings, right?

It helped that it was true.

Man, you didn't trick somebody into marrying you! That was the stuff of rom-coms and craziness. Luring someone into a lifelong poly triad, though, that was different. That just made sense.

"I ain't teared up!" Hardison insisted. Loudly. "All these flowers." He waved a hand in the air. "Pollen."

"Cut flowers," Eliot pointed out. "They rinse the pollen off cut flowers." He dug out a little travel tissue pack and offered it to Hardison. "You're gonna be a wreck when Nate and Sophie finally do this, aren't you."

"...No?" Hardison said, taking the proffered tissues. "I ain't even know what you mean. I'm the coolest brother around. Why you think they call me Ice Man?"

Said in the proper accent, too, of course.

"No one calls you that."

"Some Russian dudes in Boston do," Hardison said giving Eliot a sly grin.

"Russian dudes in prison don't count."

"Aww, why you gotta go an' hurt Sergei's feelin's like that," Hardison teased. "You know he sensitive."

"You remember the part where they were going to kill you, right?"

"Man, after almost a decade of runnin' around with you lot, havin' someone just plannin' to murder me is just one of them thangs," Hardison declared. "Gotta set the bar higher'n that for me to get all fussed these days."

...Sure.

"You get upset when someone wants you to go outside."

"Well, yeah," Hardison said. "That's cause I got, like, a million better things to do inside." He started ticking them off on his fingers. "Hackin', gamin', you, plottin', buildin', Parker..."

Eliot snorted a laugh. "You can do at least two of those outside too, you know."

"But all them public indecency laws get in the way," Hardison teased. "You wanna explain to the mayor how we ended up in the cells all butt naked?" He nodded over towards Tamsin.

"Have you actually met the mayor?" Eliot asked. "Or seen any kind of effort in Fandom to enforce 'public decency?'"

"Man, just lookin' at the mayor intimidates me," Hardison said, because he was wise and not afraid to admit to being scared by powerful, terrifying women. "Besides, I thought you were tryna be all respectable now. Buisiness owner, community leader, teacher, mentor to young scholars..."

Eliot, on the other hand, was fair game for harassment. Always.

"We live on an island that literally tries to blow people's clothes off."

"You were fine," Hardison pointed out, drawing out the 'i' in 'fine' to mean it in two very different contexts. "In fact, who came over to chew whose ear off 'bout bein' naked in public?"

"Naked in my diner ain't the same as naked on the preserve." Eliot smiled, mental image starting to form. They'd need a tent of course, Hardison would outright refuse to even approach the preserve without one, but they could get a really nice one, big and airy, with nice cushions and things so Hardison couldn't complain about rocks poking in bad places.

Hardison naked on a backdrop of trees. Gorgeous.

That miiiiiiiight almost get him to stop complaining about racist militiamen in the woods, truth be told.

But, yes, it would take some time, equipment, and persuasion. As was being evidenced by Hardison's, "Yo, hold up. Who said anything about the preserve. There are alots in there, Eliot!"

"Pretty sure we can figure out how to keep 'em away," Eliot said. "And there's less sand goin' everywhere than at the beach."

"Orrr..." Hardison said, like he'd just thought of it. "There's this whole hotel in town. Got all sorts of fancy suites. Even some cabins if you want that rustic charm! An' it's got a roof, in case it rains or whatever. All these crazy amenities, like indoor plumbin' for all your haircare needs."

Which were many and vast, Eliot. Many and vast.

Of course Envy was here, clad in her best (she'd just hired a stylist last week, and it was already paying off), and thinking about what her and Todd's wedding would look like in about a decade or so.

For the bride and groom!

Clint wasn't normally a nervous guy, but the whole thing about standing up front and waiting for Kitty was making him squirm. He tried to focus on neutral things - how uncomfortable his suit was, how hilarious it was that he got Barney into a suit too, how he really should have stopped drinking after their third bar stop - but when Kitty came in, all he could focus on was her. They were really doing this, he realized, and he was really going to be a mess.

He smiled at Logan - always a wise idea as far as he was concerned - but the real grin went to Kitty. "You look amazing," he said quietly.

"You do too," she murmured, blushing a little and figuring that she was going to be completely unable to get this smile off her face today.

Kurt let them be cute, and then spoke to address the audience. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness these two people in matrimony. It is not to be entered into lightly or frivolously, but reverently, advisedly, but still with a good sense of humor about it. Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. Through marriage, Clint and Kitty make a commitment together to face their disappointments, embrace their dreams, realize their hopes, and accept each other’s failures. Clint and Kitty will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together, through mutual understanding, openness, and sensitivity to each other.

"I understand they have things to say to each other," Kurt went on, looking to Clint to start.

Right, Clint could totally go first. He'd been thinking about his speech for a while now, so it wasn't like he didn't know what he wanted to say. But somehow, looking at Kitty now, it was hard to keep from getting choked up.

"When I first met you, I was in pretty much the worst place I've ever been. I thought things were bad when I first got to town, and then, well, you remember they got even worse." Stupid Umbridge, stupid mind control. "But there you were, just constantly making me feel good and making me want to be a good person, the type of person you insisted I am. I don't remember when I first realized I was in love with you, but I know the feeling hasn't stopped, and I want to keep being that good person for you. I want to take care of you, and be there for you no matter what happens. I love you, and I plan on showing you that for as long as you'll let me."

He smiled and stopped there because really, if he said anything else he would really turn into a mess, and no one needed to see that.

Awwww, now Kitty was tearing up.

"You were the first person in a long time I felt like I could really be myself with. I never had to worry that you'd judge, or that you wouldn't understand me. I met you and all of a sudden everything made sense. Things were right, and they've stayed right, even when things in our lives would get really, really bad. You've been there for those times as much as you have for the good, and I want so many good times with you. I love you like crazy, and you're the best partner in everything I ever could have hoped for, and my life's so much better now that you're in it for good."

What she said was different than what she'd planned, but she liked it better this way.

Kurt was internally 'aww'ing at both of them, but he was a professional.

"Do you have the rings- Oh, they're still on the dog," Kurt noticed.

Clint laughed and gave Lucky a quick pet. "Good boy, just hold still," he said, picking up the rings and giving his ring to Kitty. "He's more loyal than a human ring bearer," he said with a grin to Kurt.

"Cuter, too," Kurt agreed, waiting for them to get settled before continuing. "Do you, Kitty, take Clint to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forth, till death do you part and don't be in a rush there?"

They were superheroes, he felt he had to be clear about that last part.

Kitty took Clint's hand to slip the ring onto his finger, looking right at him as she said, "I do."

Kurt turned to Clint. "Do you, Clint, take Kitty to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forth, till death do you part, no really, no rush?"

Clint snickered, but he couldn't argue with the wording as he slipped the ring on Kitty's finger. This could last for as long as possible, thank you. "I do."

"Then by the power invested me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Kurt told them. "You may kiss the bride."

Yeah, Clint didn't need to hear that twice. He grinned at Kitty and pulled her into his arms to give her a nice, deep kiss.

Kitty kissed him back, not letting it go too long because this was the ultimate in PDA and her mom was right there. When she pulled back, she felt like she could burst from happiness.

"Hey wife," Clint murmured. Because he could! It was real and everything!

"Oh, that's weird," Kitty giggled. The good kind of weird, though. "Hey, husband."

Clint laughed and linked his arm in hers as they headed back down the aisle. "What do you say we get out of here and have ourselves a party?"

Thank you to the Originals for giving me icons for really every occasion.

Reception post to follow. YAY WEDDING.

Avengers Tower- Clint's New York- Saturday evening

Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Re: Audience

RE: Re: Re: Audience

Re: Re: Re: Audience

RE: Re: Re: Re: Audience

Re: Re: Re: Re: Audience

RE: Re: Re: Re: Re: Audience

RE: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

RE: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience

RE: Re: Audience

Re: Audience