25 Unicorn Street- Wednesday morning

[throughaphase]

Kitty, who smelled freshly of Love's Baby Soft perfume, had found a spot on the sofa to put together some pamphlets that she'd be able to use to try and spread the holy word of Jeff, the God of Biscuits.

It was best not to ask where she got the cream pie sitting on the coffee table that she was more than ready to throw at someone, though she'd- thank god- refrained from throwing it at Lexi, who'd made her way upstairs to tell Clint that "Mommy's sick." Maybe it was the fact that Kitty had dispensed perfectly edible Pez from her own mouth that had freaked her out?


[For the husband!]

Comments

[so_hawkward]

Around here, "sick" could mean a lot of different things, so Clint wasn't sure exactly what he was going to see when he went downstairs. He didn't spot any gremlins though, so that seemed like a good start.

"Hey sweetie, what are you up to?" he asked, peeking in from what seemed like a safe distance.

[throughaphase]

"Good morning!" Kitty greeted him. "Have you heard the good word?"

[so_hawkward]

"Uh, I don't think I have, but I'm sure anything you have to tell me about will be good." Maybe good to laugh about later, at least?

[throughaphase]

"Jeff, the God of Biscuits, is about to return from on high to save us all," Kitty told him, getting up to skip over to him. "Would you like some literature?"

[so_hawkward]

It was only through years of practice that Clint was able to make the split-second decision to just go along with this and see where it went.

"You know I like a good pastry," he said, eyeing the pamphlets. "Did you make those yourself?"

[throughaphase]

"I did," she said, handing him one. "Want to see something else?"

You didn't want to see it, Clint.

[so_hawkward]

He definitely didn't want to see it, and yet...

"Sure, what have you got?"

[throughaphase]

And Kitty reached over and attempted to pie him in the face.

Like a loving wife.

[so_hawkward]

Clint managed to dodge a little, and he was definitely going to keep their love in mind as he dug pie out of his ear later. "Oookay, I don't think Jeff would want you wasting product like that." He tried to grab her arms and sniffed. "Why do you smell like the 90s?"

[throughaphase]

"It's how I always smell," Kitty said. "Have you not noticed?"

[so_hawkward]

"No, I guess I missed that somehow." He tried looking her over for anything unusual, but nothing stood out. "Did you see anything small and bitey recently by any chance?"

[throughaphase]

"No, no gremlins around," Kitty said. "Why?"

[so_hawkward]

"I just wasn't expecting you to become a religious devotee, I guess," Clint said. "You're sure you're feeling all right?"

[throughaphase]

"I'm feeling fantastic," Kitty said, opening her mouth to pull out a perfectly dry, edible Pez tablet thing. "Want one?"

[so_hawkward]

...okay, he was going to need a moment to process that one.

"What the hell?! How did you...?" Congrats Kitty, he'd never had a nightmare about Pez before.

[throughaphase]

"What?" she asked, frowning.

[so_hawkward]

"Can you do that again?"

Clint, NO.

[throughaphase]

Kitty opened her mouth and pulled out a Pez.

She did this all the time, of course.

[so_hawkward]

Right, that was totally a skill that people naturally had, no big deal.

"You know, I think maybe the dogs need a walk, with Lexi," Clint said. "A long one. Do you need anything while I'm out?" Not that he had any idea of what might help this current situation.

[throughaphase]

"Yeah, could you pick me up some more pie ingredients?"

Don't. Don't do it, Clint.